I Broke My Vow

Have you ever said  "I swear I'll never.............(you fill in the blank)" only to one day find yourself doing that very thing? Not me. Not ever. Okay. That was a lie. I swore to myself and declared my oath to others that I would never  post a photograph of myself. When I made this declaration, I had already posted photos of my children, my cat and two dogs and my husband. Though not exposed, he was naked in some of the photos and he was eating all kinds of raw sea food glop. Thankfully for all, he wasn't naked and eating guts at the same time. Had he been, I would have taken a photo and probably posted it. That's the kind of person I am; I'm willing to exploit just about anyone for my own personal gains. Or so it seems. Interestingly, readers have asked for the photos of my family and of my dogs, as well. They have, however, never asked for photos of me. You might say "Well, that's because most of them know what you look like." True enough. But those same readers also know what the other members of my family look like, especially my husband, though they know him in a fully dressed state. I wasn't asked to show him in a semi-clothed state, but that's the kind of girl I am. I never take just a bite of something. I eat the whole thing. I began to think of this as kind of a cat and mouse game. How long would it take for someone to ask me to post a photo of myself? What would I do; what photo could I use? The simple answer to that is 'none.' I have never seen a photo of myself I liked or  could even stomach. I always study the photos of authors on book jackets and marvel at how great they look. I think, "Geez, they must be great writers or they are just beautiful people or both." Even those depicted as academics at least look smart. So, the writing has got to be either really good or the author has just got to look really good. Bad content can pass for a while if the writer looks good. I'm doomed as neither of those things apply to me. Even my icon on Facebook and other sites is either the ubiquetous, computer assigned, profile head-in-a-box or a sunflower, which I picked (a photo I took). But, I can't hold out any longer waiting for someone to ask me. I've found the perfect photograph of myself, one I love, my book jacket photo of the future. And now, it's out there: I'm really, secretly Dame Edna.